How I made fear my friend

We often think of fear in terms of holding us back. But there’s another darker side to fear that we rarely talk about… the fear that pushes us forward.

When I first started looking at my fear, I didn’t understand why it was such a bad thing or why I should give it up. After all, it was fear that fueled my drive to achieve so much. The fear of failing, not being enough, not being worthy, not being liked or loved, not making enough money – they all pushed me to soar to great heights.

When I was in high school, I received an A+ on an AP English assignment when the rest of the class received Ds and Fs. How could I have done so much better than the other students? I had an ace up my sleeve. I had become an expert at pleasing others (when I wanted). When the teacher outlined exactly how she approached a paragraph, I mimicked it to a tee. My content was irrelevant because I gave the teacher what she thought was an ideal writing style – hers.

I continued this trend in college. As a history major that specialized in war, I was often the only female in my class. I knew very little trivia or facts like the guys did but I would carefully listen to the professors’ instructions and pet peeves and review their publications. I would then give them exactly what they wanted – their own style reflected back to them in my papers. I graduated with the highest GPA in the entire history department.

As an associate attorney, I would always receive excellent reviews on my writing style. Why? I imitated the style of the partner I was working for. Each partner thought I was great because I appeared to be just like him on paper.

If imitation is the greatest form of flattery, I guess I had become the queen ass-kisser.

Even though our culture often rewards us when we allow fear to push us forward, it has many drawbacks. We lose our voice, our vision, our passion. We no longer know what makes us happy or what we really want in our lives. We become exhausted, burned-out and resentful. And we often don’t know why.

Be willing to look honestly at all of our fears, not just those holding us back, is critical to living a joyful, peaceful life.

In the May Cause Miracles 6-Week Course, we’ll take a hard look at all of our fears (those holding us back and pushing us forward) and begin to release them. We’ll look at how fear shows up in terms of self-love, finances/career, relationships, food/body image and sharing our gifts with the world. As we begin to embrace our true selves, we’ll become open to experiencing more love, happiness and peace.

If you’re ready to face your fears, I would be honored to have you in this transformative class.

Each week as I write this newsletter, I get the opportunity to use my voice, discover my own writing style and explore a creative outlet that brings me much joy. Thank you for allowing me this space to be myself and face my fears!

​Be fearless,

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